dreams of the end

It's 4:29am. I just woke up. I can't even begin to describe the dream that I just had and how it tossed me into this lucid state, leaving me with only questions and fears.

The world was about to end. Supposedly it was going to self destruct in a matter of hours. My family and I were at my grandparent's old house joined by scattered relatives from both my mother and father's side. We were all gathered in and around the front room. TV on. Only a few people stuck out, like my mom, and dad, and for some strange reason . . . my cousin Darlene (my mom's brother's daughter). My mother was cutting Darlene's hair, and then she was going to cut mine. For some reason it just made sense to not have so much hair, when in all but a matter of minutes we were going to burn.
I called Tom in England. We spoke. I told him that we would find each other in heaven. He was silent. I told him I would find him if he was lost. I could sense his fear. I was mad that we weren't together.
The television blared. I could hear George W. Bush say "we're all in this together" and located at the bottom of the screen was a timer. It read "00:10". I looked at my mother in the kitchen, her beautiful blue eyes were all I could have wanted to see, and I told her we had to go. We went into my grandparent's bedroom and we got on the bed and held each other, she called for my dad, and then I woke up.

A taste of what's to come . . .

Hello Blogger universe! It's nice to have a new place to call home. I currently blog on Myspace. Only. And, well, I never really go on that site for anything else nowadays. So. Here. I. Am. Thank you for having me. I chose a snippit of an old blog for you to read. I'll post my latest entry after this.

12/14/08
I could devour an ocean worth of liquid love right now and (maybe) it wouldn't even be enough. It wouldn't be his hands on my skin. Other men look at me in wonderment, loving what I expose to them. Their desire strikes me, and that happiness . . . well . . . it lingers. There's something false about all of it though, and the pain of that realization negates the aforementioned happiness with a subtle precision. I love what I've grown to love. I will always want that. It's more desirable than curiosity.

6/6/09
Dear myspace,
I am ever so sorry that I have abandoned you for such things as Facebook and Twitter. Sometimes hanging out with cooler logos is nice (God, I love that Twitter bird). And, like, we've known each other for almost 6 years now so I know all there is about you, and when I see your name I think that you're a little played out, and a feeling of being trapped in a dark hole washes over me. So, I venture off to other lands that just have a better look and feel, because that's just how it is on the interwebs: like high school, with better graphics.
Ugh, it's been ever so long. Gah! I guess times are a changin', and my feet are less swollen, and I can eat Fritos at 4am if I want to, so life is good. There's no beginning; no end.
. . .Do you know how happy I am that I can write blogs again? That I can read whole books til the morning comes, that I can watch info-mercials!?!?!?! No, why would anyone. Alas, Freedom at its best is the accumulation of the little things that we forget we long for . . . being . . . accessable again. I've pondered things that my mind has been warned to stay away from for over a year. I no longer have to conform, or feel like a trapped rat running in circles for an ultimate goal that doesn't exist. My mind can formulate its own routes, and end up wherever, WITHOUT your fucking programmed GPS system, thank you very much.
Going to the movies with Adam tonight. Shaaaah, the movies! :D